WHY

WHY

OMIGOD WHY

To get to the water, the Deep Water Fire and Rescue cut through about 6 inches (actually 6 inches, not what your girlfriend tells you is 6 inches). They used chainsaws to cut through the ice. Our team put on grass hula skirts, coconut bras, and straw hats, and proceeded to run into the water like freaking Braveheart. First of all, let me tell you this: Seeing my father in a hula skirt, not anything I ever need to do again. Ever.

Please don’t underestimate me when I say EVER. blech

Anyway. The water was 32 degrees fahrenheit.  It literally could not have been any colder without being ice. By the time we got out of the water actually, Ice was reforming on the edges. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the water was freezing as we were in it.

Anyway, we all ran into the water like the Persians rushing the wall of Spartans at Thermopylae. This is a fair analogy, I believe. We all raised our metaphorical swords and rushed that water like we were going to ace it. Then, just as the Spartans did, that water raped us. Right up the butt.

HOLY COW COLD WATER

Anyway, I ran in the water, dove under there, and swam to the other end of the opening. It was about 25 yards, and it took for freaking ever. FOR FREAKING EVER.

I made it out alive, let a whole bunch of random people take pictures of me, because lets face it, I’m beautiful. But then I got really cold. I can’t feel my fingers or my toes, I’m pretty sure I’m sterile, and I’m not actually sure where parts of my body are.

But I swam in freaking ice water. And I raised a buttload of money for the Salvation Army.

Like a Boss!

This goes on 2 lists of mine. Firstly, it goes on the “Worst decisions of my life” list. More importantly, It goes on my “Times I pretended not to cry” list, along with watching The Notebook with a girlfriend, and getting punched by that freakishly strong kid I babysat that one time.

Ladies and Gentleman, I hope to never do that again. Until next year at least. tag along next time?

time to thaw

Logan

Alright. Assuming you’ve watched this at least once, let’s talk about it a bit.
Let us begin. These girls are like, 2 years old. I think I saw one that might have been 15. She stepped on her jump rope and almost squashed a girl after they zoomed in on her. Yea. I know you were watching. Anyway. These walking embryo’s are doing things with jump ropes that I’m pretty sure alien races with extra arms and super powers would be unable to do. Lets be real. That one girl threw her rope into the ceiling, and then caught it and kept going. There is no way a fetus should be able to even breath, more or less do that junk.

Also, speaking of doing that junk, I’m pretty sure I can’t to 98% of that stuff without a rope. I’m pretty sure if I tried more than just jumping rope, I would end up hanging myself with a patriotic themed plastic cord.

Another thing, THEY KEPT GOING. This video is 8 minutes long. Yes, the last 42 seconds are huge navy dudes and a bear cheering like they just saw Hitler and BinLaden shoot each other, but you can also tell that the video started after the performance. Some dude was probably like. “O look at all the tiny little people walking onto the – O MY GOODNESS WHAT ARE THEY DOING I NEED MY CAMERA.” At least that would be my reaction. But for this entire video, they were just bouncing around on every part of their bodies that could hit the floor and kept swinging those fancy America ropes around like John Wayne with a lasso. Speaking of John Wayne, anybody seen the new True Grit? I think The Dude may have trumped The Duke… More on that when I feel more masculine. I’m freaking out over jump ropes right now…

Speaking of that. For the first 3 seconds of the video, all I could think of were jokes about how much the Navy would like jump ropes and little girls. But then I realized what they were doing, and I decided that I would probably react the same way. I laughed out loud home alone in my kitchen. I think I teared up a bit. There’s a small chance my nose may have bled… I’m not quite sure.

OK well, If you cheated and read before you watched, seriously, watch it. It’s time well spent. I’m going to go finish off the way-too-much pasta and alfredo I made last night. Maybe have a beer. omnomnom.

Later

Logan

Well, 2 years ago when I started this whole shindig, I decided to watch them all. From number 1 to 101, not a movie would go unwatched, in order.

But nay, I now think. How dumb does an individual have to be to start at number 1 and go to 101. It’s like, and the winner is!!! and second and third place…

Why would I start with a movie like the Godfather, and then know that the next 100 movies on the list aren’t going to be as good. That’s like, promising myself that at least 250 hours of my future will not be all that great. That’s freaking dumb…..

So now I say to you. I START AT 101!! Which is Groundhog day, right? Gettin some Bill Murray before he was shot by Jesse Eisenberg. It should be a good time. Who knows when that’ll happen.

But for real. Why didn’t anybody tell me how dumb I was to start at 1 and go down… Positive note, now I have another reason to rewatch the Godfather Trilogy. CHAMPION.

Also, I want a new clever sign off thing…
Logan

^see, that’s just lame.

I just took an unplanned Hiatus. As in, I stopped writing. I started to actually get a life, and I slowed down on my movie watching. But, now I’m back to my old self, sitting around alone, getting fat…. Same old, same old.

Well my Girlfriend, Adriane (Love of my life), started her own blog, which reminded me of this one. I decided I’d come back for more. I’m starting to grow up some, and I’m working on getting a job and actually being an adult. All that boring stuff, you know. But I figure I’ll start doing more of this.

Keep in mind, these writings aren’t professional reviews. I’m not a critic, I’m not a novelist. I’m just some nerd that watches a lot of movies and wants something to do with his waste of time. Read them for fun, and to see if you want to watch them. I’m going to be brutally honest about things. I don’t play into the bandwagon, that’s not my game. So read away. Please enjoy yourselves. And leave comments so that I can validate myself. It’s a self esteem boost.

Also, check out Adrianes blog, Trevor the Fish. It’s in the blogroll to the right. Or go to TrevorTheFish.wordpress.com. Easy as pie. She’s actually a great writer, and she’s actually funny. So there’s two things you won’t find here.

I’m hungry as… some fat hungry thing…. So I’m going to go get food before I go to bed. Other than that, Goodnight world.

Logan

Part I. Marlon Brando stars as Don Vito Corleone. O wow. Gotta be one of the most imitated characters ever. With the stuffed cheeks and the voice. The voice hits you. Its so weak that its over powerful. With that airy scratchy kinda quality, It chills you to the bone. Its really great. I’m a big fan! And as Al Pacino brings the character of young Michael Corleone to life, you get drawn into it and you feel like you are actually part of the family. For the length of the movie, I referred to myself as Logan Corleone. Fortunately, I don’t really interact with people, so nobody knew…. But f’real, a great movie. One problem I have with it: some of the blood and special effects are not done so well. HOWEVER [comma] with 23 kills in a 1972 film, it really isn’t very noticable except for one scene. (a guy gets shot in the eye. about two seconds later pink water runs down his face.) But every character made me feel one way or another about them. Sometimes it was “ocrapocrapocrapocrap don’tdie don’tdie ocrapocrapocrap,” and then sometimes it was more of a “HURRY UP AND KILL HIM!!” Truly one of the best movies I have seen. If I made a list, I don’t know if it would be number one, but it would definitely be up there. I actually think my list wouldn’t have a number one. It would start with number 2 and there would be 37 of them. then there would be 23 3′s. and 32 4′s. etcetera. you know. I can’t make decisions. That’s why I bought a book to tell me what movies to watch! mhmm.

Part II. Starring Al Pacino as Don Michael Corleone. Truly fantastic. Brings the family to life like nobody I could think of. If there ever was a typecast role, this would be it. Part II also stars Robert De Niro as a young Vito Corleone. In flashbacks showing Vito’s rise to power in the streets, De Niro made his name, becoming the only American actor to receive an Academy Award (best supporting actor) for a role in which no English was spoken (he spoke fluent Italian the whole time). SO GOOD. Well, I suppose I won’t go into too much detail, simply because it’s pretty much the same thing as Part I, just completely different. Truly a fantastic movie. Truly fantastic. Truly. T. . Really, this is one of those movies I could watch over and over and over and over and over and over and over again untill I stopped watching it. Then I would watch it again. maybe twice…

Part III. Of the three, not the best. This one brings in Andy Garcia to play the role of Vincent Mancini. Still an absolutely GREAT movie. But it’s like putting… hmmm. Let me get a good analogy here real quick……. It’s like comparing oranges to clementines. Yes, oranges are absolutely delicious. Truly a great fruit, but compared to a clementine? COME ON!!! Clementines are so much better than oranges, I don’t care how good oranges are! I LOVE CLEMENTINES! Holy crap I want a clementine. O wow.

Anyway, if you get a chance to watch any of the three, I would highly suggest you take it. I would suggest you start with Part I, then go from there, simply because you can’t just jump in a family all weird like. You have to follow them. Know them from the start. If you don’t watch this movie I might just have to find you and force you to. They’re just that good. Missing them would be like skipping your daughters wedding so you could go to the beach with your mistress while your wife is in the hospital delivering your son. It would just be wrong. Perhaps I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse…

Logan

1. The Godfather (1972) and The Godfather: Part II (1974)

2. Citizen Kane (1941)

3. Casablanca (1942)

4. Sunset Boulevard (1950)

5. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

6. North by Northwest (1959)

7. The Wizard of Oz (1939)

8. Annie Hall (1977)

9. Chinatown (1974)

10. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

11. Nashville (1975)

12. Some Like It Hot (1959)

13. All About Eve (1950)

14. Psycho (1960)

15. Taxi Driver (1976)

16. Apocalypse Now (1979)

17. On the Waterfront (1954)

18. Gone with the Wind (1939)

19. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

20. The Searchers (1956)

21. La Dolce Vita (1961)

22. Double Indemnity (1944)

23. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

24. Vertigo (1958)

25. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

26. GoodFellas (1990)

27. Jules and Jim (1961)

28. Funny Face (1957)

29. A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

30. Saving Private Ryan (1998)

31. Strangers on a Train (1951)

32. It Happened One Night (1934)

33. The Graduate (1967)

34. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

35. Raging Bull (1980)

36. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

37. The African Queen (1951)

38. Dr. Strangelove (1964)

39. Blade Runner (1982)

40. The Conformist (1970)

41. Schindler’s List (1993)

42. The Lives of Others (2006)

43. Diner (1982)

44. City Lights (1931)

45. The Deer Hunter (1978)

46. 8 1/2 (1963)

47. Top Hat (1935)

48. Rules of the Game (1939)

49. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

50. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

51. King Kong (1933)

52. Star Wars (1977)

53. The 400 Blows (1959)

54. A Night at the Opera (1935)

55. My Fair Lady (1964)

56. Night of the Hunter (1955)

57. The Third Man (1949)

58. Doctor Zhivago (1965)

59. ET: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

60. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

61. Pinocchio (1940)

62. Shadow of a Doubt (1943)

63. Fargo (1996)

64. Blue Velvet (1986)

65. Jaws (1975)

66. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)

67. Do the Right Thing (1989)

68. Wild Strawberries (1957)

69. The Bicycle Thief (1948)

70. Bringing up Baby (1938)

71. Paths of Glory (1957)

72. The Maltese Falcon (1941)

73. Pather Panchali (1955)

74. The Lady Eve (1941)

75. The Last Picture Show (1968)

76. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

77. Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

78. Midnight Cowboy (1969)

79. M*A*S*H (1970)

80. American Graffiti (1973)

81. The Producers (1968)

82. Rashomon (1950)

83. Cabaret (1972)

84. The Bank Dick (1940)

85. A Place in the Sun (1951)

86. Red River (1948)

87. The Conversation (1974)

88. Grand Illusion (1937)

89. L.A. Confidential (1997)

90. Butch Cassidy (1969)

91. Imitation of Life (1959)

92. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

93. Spartacus (1960)

94. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)

95. The Seven Samurai (1954)

96. A Hard Day’s Night (1964)

97. Atlantic City (1980)

98. American Beauty (1999)

99. Pulp Fiction (1994)

100. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

101. Groundhog Day (1993)

And so it begins. My adventure to see them all. No matter what. If I’ve already seen them, I’ll watch them again. If I don’t want to see them, I’ll suck it up. Let’s go

Logan

We went shopping on Easter Sunday. Pretty much everywhere was closed, which makes sense, I mean, it’s Easter…. But we decided that Barnes and Noble Booksellers was a good idea. Everybody loves some good book shopping right? So while my mother, father, sister, and grandmother were looking around in the religious/christian section, I was standing around in, would you guess it, the TV/Film section. But I did buy a book! Its Called The Greatest Movies Ever: The Ultimate Ranked List of the 101 Best Films of All Time! I see a book like this, I like it. Its written by Gail Kinn & Jim Piazza. Here’s what the back cover says

“From a century of great comedies, dramas, musicals, romances, and more, Kinn and Piazza have selected and ranked the top 101 films worldwide — and provided insightful commentary, facts and figures, behind-the-scenes info, and lush photographs that bring each film to life on the page. Call it a celebration of movies, a peerless guide to the best of the best — or call it the best checklist ever compiled for movie lovers. (How many have you seen?) The Greatest Movies Ever is a must-have for film buffs of every age and taste.”

So there you go! It really is a fantastic book. For each movie, this book gives you a little review, a plot synopsis, pictures, cast list, bios, little-known facts, credits, awards, even if its on other lists or not! It really tells you everything you need to know about the movie, and also about 7 things you really don’t at all! But here’s my deal…

I’m going to watch them all. Yes you heard right, all 101. And I’m going to use this site as my checklist. Because I’m going to watch them in order. Not alphabetical order. Order from 1st to 101st. I really am excited! Are you?

Logan

So for now, I’m going to go get something to eat. It’s cold outside, so I’m thinking ramen. Ramen is fairly delicious. Very satisfying, and it fills the hole. Now, there are plenty of foods that I would choose over ramen, but as always, there are plenty of foods that I would choose ramen over. Like Arby’s. I’m not a fan of Arby’s. I had one of their Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwiches, and It was a NOGO!!! Ewww. I had to take it bite by bite, because after every bite, it was a difficulty to suppress the gag reflex. Not a fan. But that’s all for another day. I’m just letting ya’ll know that I am going to start to write again. Starting tonight. After my ramen. I’ll write about one of the 13 TV shows that I’m following. I need a hobby….

HAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAAAA. Funny movie. Very funny. Normally, I’m not a huge fan of Adam Sandler, especially his recent movies. But he got himself a winner with this one.

An Israeli Counter Terrorist, Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler), fakes his own death so that he can go to New York and become a hair stylist. When he arrives, he can’t find anywhere to work, and he doesn’t have any place to stay. But by a series of hilarious incidents, Zohan gets a job at a Palestinian hair studio, and becomes quite hot stuff. But when his arch-nemesis The Phantom (John Turturro) learns that Zohan is in New York, all hell breaks loose. Who would have thought that hell could be so funny?

I absolutely loved this movie. Definitely one that I will watch again very soon, and also one that I will tell all of my friends to see.

If you’re looking for some kind of intellectual movie that will get you thinking about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, don’t even step towards this movie. HOWEVER [comma] if you’re looking for some moronic entertainment that doesn’t take an ounce of brain to watch, but keeps you laughing throughout the whole thing, then COME ON DOWN. Director Dennis Dugan struck gold with You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. With an all-star cast, including Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Dave Matthews, and Rob Schneider, with special appearances by Chris Rock, Mariah Carey, Kevin James, and Dom Deluise, this movie certainly wasn’t short on the acting!

And the script! Absolutely outrageous. Written by Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, and Judd Apatow, this script is nothing short of  genius. It keeps you laughing at every turn, and even manages to squeeze a bit of true romance and friendship in there.

I am absolutely heels over head for this movie. I honestly can’t wait till I get to watch it again. You know what? I might just do that this weekend sometime. I’ll watch it again. With friends this time.

If you get a chance to see You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, WATCH IT. I promise that you won’t be disappointed, unless you’re looking for something that’s not absolute idiot humor. Its that kind of funny. Like Family Guy or Tommy Boy. They’re so not funny, that they’re funny. Either that or they’re so funny its funny. I can’t figure it out. But THEY’RE FUNNY!!!

Watch it

Logan

“I make you silky smooth”

Director Jon Avnet shot par on this one. Before you get excited, I don’t see par as being to good. All the good golfers always shoot 2 or 3 below par. Which makes me think. If the point of golf is to get below par, then why is sub-par bad? But that’s another post. Anyway. Knowing this was an Al Pacino movie, I had great expectations. 88 Minutes did not live up to these.

Dr. Jack Gramm (Al Pacino) is a womanizer and a forensic psychologist. The movie begins on the day of execution of a serial killer Dr. Gramm helped to convict. Bad day for Dr. Gramm. On this day, new evidence is brought forward that he got wrong man. O, and just to make his day a bit better, he gets a death threat. An Anonymous caller tells him that he has 88  minutes to live. This movie is about getting to the mystery caller before the mystery caller gets to him.

88 Minutes follows a decent story line. If you gave me a plot outline to read, I would tell you it would make a great movie. However, with some bad scripting, and some bad acting, a movie can quickly go from decent to terrible. Luckily, 88 Minutes didn’t make it all the way to terrible. Throughout the entire movie, I just thought how bad it was. But towards the end, I realized something. I think the reason this movie isn’t as good as I was expecting is because its so real. Sort of. It is an outrageously fake story, but the acting is almost real. There is no over dramatic reading, or out of this world dialogue, it just seems to be kind of down to earth. Sort of a “o-man-I-just-got-a-death-threat-lets-not-panic-lets-find-out-who-its-from” kind of vibe. HOWEVER [comma] this doesn’t even come close to explaining it all. It’s just me reaching for something to cling to so I don’t have to say that Al Pacino did a bad job. But really, Al Pacino did a bad job.

Plus the fact that the death screams were really terrible. I’ve heard people scream better when they trip. Quite unfortunate.

There is a great monologue to close it up though. Really a great monologue. And well delivered.

I will not watch this movie again. I will not tell you to watch it. But it is Al Pacino, and it is moderately exciting. So I mean, do what you will.
Long and short of it: Not a good movie, not a bad movie. PAR

Logan

Tic-Toc, Doc